Five Essential Questions About College Admissions
I did an AMA on the r/ApplyingToCollege subreddit last night, and I have some thoughts.
The kids are gonna be all right. They’re smart, funny, curious, and kind. It would be great if our current college application process didn’t beat it out of them.
There’s a lot of noise out there about prestige, packaging, and perfect GPAs. I get it. I worked as a Stanford admissions officer for four years and as an independent college counselor for 16 years. I understand why it feels imperative to take five AP courses every year, to win national awards, and to develop a “spike” in one or more activities, ideally something really cool and niche and creative and impactful that no one else is doing. I also understand how much weight these students are carrying—their own expectations, their parents’ expectations, the fear that however much they’re doing is not enough, will never be enough.
Below are five essential questions from the AMA. Disclaimer: they don’t contain a secret sauce for getting into HYPSM (for the uninitiated, that stands for Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, MIT, and there is some controversy on Reddit about how to pronounce it properly). Rather, what they do is get at the confusion, anxiety, and opacity of college admissions and give me the opportunity to point to what actually matters when applying to college. And what actually matters, in college applications as well as in life, is authenticity, curiosity, and character. What matters is the effort to be your best self, to know who you are and to communicate that to others. Remember that movie, Kung Fu Panda, where Po opens the Dragon Scroll and (spoiler alert) it’s just a blank reflecting surface? Sort of like that. The secret ingredient is you.
Describe a student that stuck out from an admission year — someone interesting or unique.
Interestingly, I remember mostly the essays (less so the activities and grades). Couple of fun snippets: a letter of rec (from a very crotchety, old-school, Midwestern teacher in a small town) that said, “This is the kind of kid you want to marry your daughter. Get in line—he’s going to marry MY daughter.”
I also vividly remember an essay from a student who decided to break with a long-held family holiday tradition because she felt too grown up for it—and then, seeing her extended family’s devastated reaction, decided that it was worth it to be the baby for a couple more years. Ultimately, the applications I remember were of students who came across as incredibly genuine, thoughtful, and engaged with the world in a way that focused on learning and growth and not packaging themselves in a way that they thought their readers might like.
I haven’t faced any trauma or adversities and have had a pretty basic teenage life so I’m not sure what could stand out on the common app.
Generally, not having been exposed to trauma or injury or hardship is considered a GOOD thing—except, of course, in the upside down world of college applications, where experiencing hardship is a twisted sort of currency and students who have not coped with terrible adversity consider themselves lacking instead of lucky.
I’d encourage you to root your application in core strengths rather than in real or perceived deficits. This might be a combination of “hard” strengths like specific talents or skills and “soft” strengths like empathy, humor, or creativity. I’ve read phenomenal essays by students who learned how to make their own jewelry (including metalsmithing), received an unfortunate haircut in middle school, or constantly got stuck sitting in the middle seat of a very small family car between two contentious siblings. All of those topics are not “extraordinary” in any conventional sense, but they gave each student an opportunity to delve into how these experiences and activities shaped who they’ve become.
What are the most shocking red flags you have seen in a student applicant?
I remember reading a “note to your future roommate” essay by a student who was glad there were no cars allowed on campus—because their friend hit a pedestrian the year before. They thought it was a funny, relatable story. Which it was absolutely not.
What should a high school junior do distance themselves from the general idea of hustle culture and the toxic mindset of [some competitive college applicants]?
I LOVE your question. In an ideal world, you’d stay off social media and never talk to any people your age until you were 18. In the real world, I’d enjoy your vacation, catch your breath after what I’m sure was a long and stressful year, and take stock of what you want to accomplish over the summer (napping is fine, but think of a few productive things too, even if it’s just reading or exploring an interest that you have). Try not to pay attention to what others are doing (easier said than done, I know) but focus on who you are and what you want, apart from all the noise.
How do you think ChatGPT will change college admissions? Do you think it is alright to use ChatGPT/Grammarly/other AI tools for editing essays?
Super pertinent question! I actually wrote about this in December 2022 with my colleague Alex McNeil (you can read that post HERE)
I think there’s room to use ChatGPT as well as Grammarly as tools to help students scaffold their writing skills, but there’s a LOT to be said for learning to write through trial and error.. My family and I came to the US from the former Soviet Union when I was nine, and I ended up learning English from watching TV, reading, and, as with any other skill, making a lot of mistakes. Realistically, I think a lot of students will end up using ChatGPT to generate essays, but I think doing so misses an important opportunity to find their own voice and to acquire a skill they’ll have for the rest of their lives.
You can read many more student question and my answers on the AMA thread HERE.
For more of my reflections about college admissions, parents, children, and books ranging from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to The Odyssey, check out my memoir The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays.